


feel these slices and cuts

by Lire_Casander



Series: watching everything from space [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of a Coma, mentions of breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25002313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: alex manages to save the day,again, but he still has to decide whether the cost is too high
Relationships: Forrest Long/Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: watching everything from space [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810042
Comments: 18
Kudos: 81





	feel these slices and cuts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frenziedblaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenziedblaze/gifts).



> Ttitle from _Open Your Eyes_ by Snow Patrol.
> 
> Happy birthday, honey! I wish you a wonderful day, and a great year ahead!

Alex is pacing the corridor outside the hospital room, tracing a pattern on the dusty floors, unable to remain seated inside longer. The sight of Michael lying unconscious seems taken out of his worst nightmares — more terrible than the dreams about war, more frightening than the memories of what used to be — and Alex can only take this strife in small doses before it chokes him up and threatens to suffocate him in invisible pain.

He peers inside the room once more, to where Rosa is still sitting beside Isobel, dizzily waking up to what looks like a stiff neck and a bad back pain. He stares on, the three aliens inside still unmoving on their beds, the light filtering through the blinds reflecting on the gleaming piece in Michael’s hand. The signs are similar to those in the note left behind a brick at the Crashdown — he is now aware that his Uncle Tripp didn’t leave it for him, but the message engraved with it still pierces through him.

There’s life outside this Earth and although he already knew that — he fell in love with one alien and has yet to get half his heart back — he’s now coming to terms with the fact that not all extraterrestrial existence comes to Earth in peace.

The signs in the note and the signs on the piece are similar, if not the same.

“That doesn’t come from Michael’s ship,” he says, loud enough for Rosa to hear him. They’re the only humans left in the room, but she doesn’t react like he’s addressing her. “That piece,” he continues, voice suddenly ragged. “That piece is _evil_. We have to take it out from Michael’s grip.”

“What do you mean?” Rosa questions, but he doesn’t answer her. Instead, he marches on inside the room and approaches Michael’s bed, a frown set in between his eyes as he leans in and observes Michael’s hands.

The piece seems fused to Michael’s skin, but Alex is a strong man. He can tear the piece from Michael and free him.

“Kyle tried that when you pointed it out,” Rosa tries to reason with him. “It didn’t work.”

Alex ignores her, and reaches out. His index finger grazes the gleaming piece and it sends a myriad of feelings through Alex’s soul. “It’s alive,” he mutters. “It’s a living piece.”

“A _living_ piece?”

Alex nods, tracing the patterns on the glass with his fingertip slightly on the air around the piece, muttering to himself. “It’s like it’s taken Michael hostage,” he finally says, standing up. “I can pry it out.”

“Of course you can,” Rosa says, unamused. “You’re the knight in shining armor, after all.”

“I’m going to ignore you,” Alex deadpans. “You know I’m not any kind of knight, much less—”

“Oh, cut it, Alejandro,” Rosa interrupts him. “Can you please accept the fact that you and Michael will most likely be tied for life? Just like Isobel and me, though our link is _completely_ different. I’m not in love with her.”

“You mean, you’re not in love with her _anymore_ , right?” Alex jabs back. “I remember you having a huge crush on Isobel Evans when we all were teenagers.”

“Not my fault you grew up,” Rosa tells him. “And also not my fault that I died. But my liking or not Isobel isn’t the point. The point is that you’re tied to Michael, and yet you’re dating Forrest Long. A Long, really?”

“I don’t have time for your criticism now.” Alex purses his lips and leans in again, choosing to mute the voice in the back of his mind that tells him heʼs not being fair to Forrest. He doesn’t have the time to dwell on his personal life. Michael might be very much dying at this moment, and Alex needs to focus on solving this mystery and saving him. 

This time, when he hovers over Michael’s frame, his mouth comes closer to Michael’s ear, and before he knows what he’s doing he whispers, “Michael, let go. Please. Open your hand and let go. Come back to me.”

For a moment nothing happens, and then with a trembling sigh Michael Guerin unfurls his fingers and the piece falls to the ground with a metallic sound.

“How on Earth—”

“Told you,” Alex allows himself to smile as he caresses Michael’s curls. “Well done, Michael. Now open your eyes. Please, come back to me.”

His words are met with silence. Alex shuffles, his weight passing from one leg to the other, as he waits for any sign that Michael has heard him the same way he listened when Alex asked softly for him to let go of the piece.

They both are met with Michael stirring lightly, Isobel grunting, Max exhaling heavily, but neither of them opens their eyes. 

“Why aren’t they waking up?” Rosa stands up and touches his shoulder when he doesn’t react. “Alex?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters. “Maybe we should give them time. They’ve been unconscious for so long, and we don’t know how it’s affected them. If they don’t wake up soon, though, we might have to call Maria.”

Rosa nods. Alex knows she understands — Maria is the only one with alien powers that come from having an alien DNA, and she’s already sensitive to other’s feelings and emotions. If anyone can enter minds, it’s Maria. As much as it pains Alex to admit it, and as much as their breakup has sparkled a hope that he thought was burnt out in him, Michael and Maria have been a couple up until recently. Whatever they had going on between them, it most likely hasn’t died down yet, and he doesn’t want to be witness to a reunion.

“What about we wait?” Rosa suggests. “I can go grab some coffee and even a couple of bagels if you’re hungry.”

Alex doesn’t get to reply, because his stomach rumbles in hunger, and he huffs out a bashful laugh. “Please? I don’t think I can leave them right now.”

“I don’t think you’re ready to leave _him_ , either,” she points out, halfway out of the room. “Stay put. I’ll come back with food.”

True to her word, Rosa is back less than ten minutes later, balancing a couple of coffee cups and a bag of bagels as she opens the door by pushing it with her elbow. “Now we can eat, and then you can go call your boyfriend. Unless you don’t think of him as your boyfriend anymore.”

Alex picks one of the bagels and munches on it without saying a thing. He hasn’t spared a single thought to Forrest except for the passing mentions and jabs Rosa has made the past hour. Rosa’s words remind him that he hasn’t even called Forrest like he’d promised to do.

“I should call him, shouldn’t I?” he whispers around a mouthful of cream cheese and ham.

“I guess you should, but it’s up to you.”

Alex shakes his head and finishes his breakfast before checking his watch and deciding to make that phone call. He doesn’t have any hope that Forrest is still in his house, but itʼs not even nine on a Saturday, so maybe he slept in. 

Alex doesn’t know whether heʼs relieved at the thought of Forrest not being in his bed anymore, or bummed that there will be no one to greet him whenever he makes it back home. 

He doesn’t allow himself to think anymore. He fishes for his phone in his front pocket and stares at the screen for long moments before making up his mind. 

The sun is high up in the sky when Alex punches the code on the touch screen. He steps out of the room as he scrolls down until he finds Forrestʼs number — his boyfriend isn’t his last call, he isn’t even up in that list. With a sigh, he clicks on it and lifts the device to his ear, hoping that Forrest isnʼt too mad that itʼs taken him over four hours to call. 

“ʼlex?” Forrest answers the phone with a slur. Alex frowns — he hadn’t thought that Forrest might be asleep. So he _still_ is at Alex’s. “What time is it?” 

“Almost nine,” Alex replies. “Iʼm sorry I didn’t call sooner.” 

“ʼs okay,” Forrest reassures him. Alex can hear a rustle in the background, and what sounds like Buffy protesting. “Is Michael doing better?” 

Alex remains silent for longer than intended, mulling over what to say to Forrest — what he can possibly make up — for his boyfriend sighs into the phone, “you donʼt have to tell me, Alex, you know. I understand. I really do.” 

“No, I donʼt think you do,” Alex says before he can stop himself, because Forrest doesn’t really know the first thing about everything that surrounds Michael Guerin. 

And itʼs clearly the wrong thing to say — not something Alex would say face to face, since heʼs usually good at reading body language and he knows what to say and how to say it — but heʼs tired, heʼs spent half the night sitting by Michaelʼs bed raking his mind trying to find out what could have gone wrong, and he doesn’t have Forrest in front of him to read his expression. 

“Of course I don’t,” Forrest retaliates. There’s irritation in his voice. “Because itʼs Michael Guerin and apparently I wouldn’t even _begin_ to understand what kind of cosmic bond ties you two.” 

“You’re being unfair, Forrest,” Alex says before he can stop himself — and he must be _really_ tired because he’s usually better at keeping his big mouth shut — only to be met with Forrest’s exasperated sigh.

“Let me get this straight because I think I’m not enough awake then,” Forrest says into the microphone, his voice dropping an octave and sending chills through Alex’s body. “You leave me in the middle of the night to go to your ex’s side when he’s hurt, you forget to call me, you won’t even tell me what’s wrong, _you_ tell _me_ I’m unfair? I think I’ve been very understanding of the situation, and you’re stressed out, but you can’t accuse me of being _unfair_ to you. I’m not the one who went all the way back to his cosmic past without actually paying any attention to their very real present.”

Alex feels as though he has been slapped. He removes his phone from his ear and stares at it for a second, listening to Forrest’s ragged breathing coming out from it. When he puts it once again against his skin, it’s to hear Forrest muttering, “I guess I have my answer now. You know where to find me, Alex, when you figure this all out. _If_ you ever do. I’ll lock up when I leave.”

And then he hangs up, and Alex is met with the distinctive noise of beeping. 

He stares at his phone with a frown, trying to pinpoint what exactly is bothering him from his conversation with Forrest. There’s something that has left him feeling unbalanced, but he can’t put a finger on what that is.

“Hey, you okay?” Rosa asks from the doorframe. Alex turns around to see her leaning against the wood, arms crossed over her chest, her ponytail swinging lightly at her back as though she has just stopped moving. 

“Yeah,” he tries to assure her. “Just talking to Forrest.”

“That didn’t sound like _just_ talking,” she points out, tapping her foot on the floor. “Sorry for eavesdropping. It wasn’t my intention.”

They remain silent for a few seconds. He doesn’t know how to reply to Rosa’s words, to the stated fact that she’s heard part of his conversation with Forrest — whatever she could have inferred from his side of the dialogue — and he can see she’s trying to contain her hands from reaching out and touch him. Rosa’s always been like this — the caring big sister he never had, stuck at home with three older brothers who never once stood up for him — and Alex has missed her so much this past decade.

They still need time to process everything that’s happened, and to make up for lost time, although he doubts they will ever regain everything they’ve lost in the ten years of lies and secrets they can’t seem to leave behind in the rearview window of their mistakes.

And he really needs a hug right now, but he chooses to put up the mask of the perfect soldier he’s mastered for all his life, and straightens his back.

“It’s fine,” Alex finally sighs. “I think Forrest kinda broke up with me.”

“Can’t say I didn’t see that coming,” Rosa takes a step forward as she speaks, but she still doesn’t touch Alex, although he can see her fingers twitching against the sleeves of her sweater. “I mean, the poor guy has put up with a lot these past weeks. Ever since you two started dating. Honestly, I think anyone who wants to date either of you two should be ready to share you.”

Alex shoots her a puzzled look, but Rosa simply arches one brow at him before turning around and claiming back her spot in that uncomfortable chair beside Isobel’s bed. Alex knows he should make a move — either walk into the room or walk away — but it isn’t that simple of a decision. He feels trapped in between the two worlds he’s tried so hard to keep from colliding; his next move should be easy enough for him to make, but he can’t force himself to even _think_ , the mere sight of Michael on that bed clutching that piece of murderous alien tech sending shivers through his spine. He’s stuck to his spot in the middle of a deserted hospital hallway, fighting with himself over which part of his soul he should give up now — the part that’s tainted by his past or the part that’s reeling with the hope of future.

He finds out that it doesn’t really matter, in the end, because his decision is made for him when there’s a small noise coming from inside the room, the sound of whining and a low-pitched groan in a voice Alex could recognize anywhere.

Michael is awakening. 

Before he can think about what he’s doing, Alex takes a step toward the hospital beds. And as he does, he realizes what has been nagging at him from his interaction with Forrest.

For as much as he’s talked to Forrest about his past relationship with Michael Guerin — as complete as he could be without giving away Michael’s true nature — there’s a small detail Alex has never mentioned.

He never told Forrest Long anything about how _cosmic_ his relationship with Michael is.


End file.
